by 
It’s great to be aware of our existence and each other’s values always and daily and not just on celebratory or remembrance days.
So, I am bringing up stuff and topics or happenings I had talked of on normal days or online or at events.
If you read plus appreciated my other write up on “human rights, women’s rights are human rights and humanity” then thank you and hope there is time for the rest of the reading or other readings too.
So, you see… Dr Mrs, Bar Mrs, Evangelist, Prof Mrs,Engr Mrs, Pastor Mrs…
Not a crime.
Yawn.
These are kind of or sort of an insecure and unindependent, ownership tag and glorified way of hailing patriarchy and misogyny especially when there are other titles added.
It all happens via invisible, visible grooming the world and especially Africa has normalised through social conditioning, generational grooming and daily practice.
If you don’t agree, no worries.
Aaahhh, well.
It would be nice; be bold,audacious and use your name alone or maybe, your professional tag or Chieftaincy if any.
➡️No one tags men on whether married or not and especially in professional issues or living.
Even if done, how good or reasonable is let alone what’s done and seen as norm with the other gender.
Isn’t it just such a drag to do the whole 9 yards of for example:
Dr Bar Evangelist Mrs Perpetual Chukwu
And there worse ones who go with Bar Mrs Prof Mary Eze Chukwudi- Onwuka.
No one ‘s holding any at gun point but hey…suggestions and evaluations.💖
Phew!
Court rooms…Ah well, let’s see.
For instance, lawyers announcing as “Mrs Chinwe Ojo or Cynthia Udeh, Mrs ” is just simply inappropriate and encourages slices of internalised misogyny within and it will in no way improve your court room presentations or argument or confidence in life or even bring about the justice needed or improve the substance of the case.
That it happens and seems okay or normalised doesn’t make it great, appropriate or cool or maybe…right. Nah.
I remember my dad saying same things and hardly asked the Miss or Mrs thingy and would call his judicial colleagues, Justice their name or full name. No gender and marital title.
So, what is Justice Mrs.
I remember an amazing Judge years ago who is a grandma now and when introduced for a speech, she said my name is enough and Justice or Hon. Justice my name is more than enough. She then carried on with a brilliant lecture.
In court and during cases or proceedings, as seen by some judges or magistrates, it’s saddeningly quite enabling of discrimination or double standards or sexism to respond
or ask a lawyer as seen done to ONLY female lawyers:
Miss or Mrs?
No one needs that pointer or investigative questioning and besides, if people were I terested in knowing a person and if available for relationships or marriages, they can ask the person directly in an appropriate place or make other enquiries through other people and that’s if so pressed on it and needed. Not for the fun of it or entitlement behaviour.
So yes, we should spread the word-whehter we are men or women or married or unmarried or divorced or whatever else, we are first of all and above all things, humans first! Humans. Persons.
So, the question Miss or Mrs is laced with repugnancy, inappropriateness, misogyny, sexism, double standards and more.
By jove, it unnecessary, discriminatory and archaic toOo.
You see, I believe that at MY CORE VALUES of promoting equality, humanity, equity, love, fairness, justice, wellbeing, free spiritedness, liberty, etc, that these things actually do matter
and globally, things seen as okay with our citizens raises eye brows and more questions by non citizens and fellow lawyers and citizens in other caeers.
I remember our dear C J Onnoghen also in court or speeches elsewhere said the Bar Mrs was unnecessary and especially, asking women if they are Miss or Mrs anywhere especially in court rooms or proceedings was wrong and should be stopped.
Its not like there are forms to fill or something like that and some of those sections don’t often matter like state of origin, marital status, religion,ethnicity, etc especially if nothing for the project or event in issue would be substantial to it.
So, it felt great to hear Onnoghen advice and push for a practice where female lawyers are not grilled or pushed to answer Miss or Mrs.Wish more can be done by others people.
Information on him on this issue can be seen in some papers or blogs or recordings if still available.
I truly appreciated this and it resonates with what I had preached even before I went to law school and 12 years after my call to bar, I still preach these things, talk about it at events and I had written letters at some point concerning it to people, committees, etc. Some day, changes will come.
Everyone can do their best on varying issues.
So, yes I believe discrimination and double standards dumbs down a lot of things, is unsmart and promotes poor well being in others who maybe, sometimes on those at receiving end plus it indeed reflects ridiculous or funny nature of things too or its regressive nature.
Also, it is unhelpful or unreasonable for lawyers or judges or magistrates addressing female lawyers as Mrs this or that but I understand many people live these titles or are used to it and love being addressed as so or addressing other as so.
I understand this especially if it’s what the persons prefers to answer or introduce themselves as.
Men do not have marital tags or identification or marital ownership titles.
We know the obvious reasons too.
Still…
The full name or surname or first name of the female lawyer or male lawyer is enough or learned silk or learned friend or counsel or their initials, etc are enough especially when in court room proceedings.
Let’s stay aware and awake globally and intellectually and use basic, non repugnant standards.
Dr May Achike.
Bar Ify Brown.
Engr Tina Udo
Sarah Chukwu Esq.
While announcing appearance in court or during court representations- the appropriate way should be this way to show awareness, open minds, non internalised misogyny and confidence:
My Lord, I am Sandra Nwadi and I appearing for the plaintiff.
With utmost humility, my Lord I am Ada George.
With great respect, your worship, I am Uju Adibe.
With respect, my Lord,my name is Sandra Nwadi
With great respect my Lord, J. J. Morah, appearing for the 3rd and 4th defendants.
With utmost humility my Lord, Vallerie Only appearing for the claimant.
Anyway, I know Nigerians are especially hungry and addicted to titles and it’s just the internalised misogyny deep in most of these discriminatory treatment or questions that can be worrisome.
Often seems harmless but hey, awareness and unlearning is a great thing too.
Also, in non court stuff and terms in life, it is nice to use appropriate titles or non-gendered titles if one is unsure of a person gender or preferred chosen gender or non-genderised in cases where a few do so as seen in the developed world.
So, we have and know more commonly: Chairman If a woman, its okay to use Chairman.
Or best and okay any day for all humans: Chairperson.
Moreover, I look forward to a time when the legal system and those in authority or all the leaders in various parts of Nigeria will check the origin, misogyny and archaic need to refer to female lawyers or judicial officers as men and yes, I am aware of the legal practice on it and why it was made so.🤔😨
Its 2020 and progressiveness is essential.
It will be great and nice to check that it has outlived its intention and practice and globally looks unfair and to an extent funny that it seems like a discriminatory treatment to refer to women as men or as though there is a problem with being a woman and being identified as a woman while practicing law or being a judicial officer.
It’s funny as same women are still ensured to not wear trousers or referred as Mrs or Miss by themselves or other lawyers or the judicial officer in court even though general said to be men or gentlemen in skirts..
Being a woman is great and amazing and there is nothing wrong with it and even in the legal profession.
What should be addressed are various types of unfairness, maltreatment, harassment, abuses women go through including female lawyers in the hands of other people whether men or women and of course, fellow lawyers.
Glad its sometimes addressed and reports made or suits but then…its sort of all inter-twinned with other points made.
It doesn’t seem to be unifying and even the fairness hopefully ensured by referring to every one as learned gentlemen or brothers isn’t there because greater acts of unfairness, discrimination, sexism, misogyny, harassment, abuses, etc still goes on in the profession and stares us in the face like huge elephant stamping through flowers or tiny tea cups.
These are things or acts quite subtle or concrete or grave as the case maybe.
Furthermore, why do litigants or audience who are women admonished or expected to also tie scarf or cover their heads in courts and why is this seen as necessary?
Although some courts don’t push on this but it would be great if lawyers, judicial officers, associations and those open minded people and the globally-aware progressives
will help reduce or cut out unnecessary discrimination, archaic practice or repugnant ones still happening in the world and in courts…even if seen as unnecessary or funny or unserious.
I’ve many thoughts I haven’t put down on various issues and some I already did in the past days, months or years but these ones I am once again happy to share with you.
I will discuss these things written here at two events I have today on Human rights, Feminism and Humanity and the other Women’s Day celebration.
So there it is…my dear and worthy, beautiful people, men and women, I do wish you all a great day, fruitful week and of course, Happy Women’s Day!
May we keep up with an open mind, learning, unlearning and relearning in life till death as growth remains essential.
~ Sandra Nwadi
© 2020
